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What is Emotional Regulation?
Emotional regulation is quite literally about regulating your emotions. This is not so simple and many people tend to struggle with it! In fact, emotional dysregulation occurs when you cannot regulate your emotions!
With emotional dysregulation, one can experience frequent mood swings, disproportionate reactions to a situation as well as how quickly you calm down. Those with ADHD also tend to struggle with emotional regulation, which can lead to impulsiveness, impatience, aggression and much more.
Living with emotional regulation problems can be difficult and limiting in situations. For that reason, I decided to create a post with helpful and possibly life changing tips! Some of these tips have helped me too!
Whether you have ADHD or just struggle with regulating your emotions in general, this post can help you!
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional and therefore all the advice I have provided here is cited and researched.
1. Think Before You Act to Practise Emotional Regulation
This is something we say often, but have a hard time actually doing.
Thinking before you speak or act is the first major step to reaching an emotionally regulated state.
All of your emotions are valid, however, you still should practise caution with the way that you express them.
If you respond to a person by flipping them off, you’re most likely not going to get the best reaction. Sometimes its better to choose your battles wisely!
Try to reason out the pro’s and cons of reaction the way you want to, and decide on the best outcome. Sometimes however, choosing not to react can be very difficult. In that case, you can also attempt to do the opposite of what you want to do.
This might sound a bit silly, but it is an actual DBT technique that is used with patients who attend therapy. It’s a great way to still get a reaction out, but in a more positive way. For example, instead of flipping someone off, you can wave at them!
Just keep in mind that this takes time and requires a lot of practise, so don’t give up and you’ll get there!
2. Practise Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a practice which involves paying attention to the present moment without judgement.
Just to give you a small example, let’s say you’re brushing your hair. You can try to feel the weight of the brush in your hand, noticing any other senses that might be engaged. Simply focus on the sensation of what you’re doing, and nothing else.
Mindfulness is great because it can help individuals to become more aware of their thoughts, emotions and bodily sensations. Once you’re aware of your emotions, it becomes much easier to control them. Don’t forget, emotional regulation is all about control!
How do I know That this will Help me Be More Emotionally Regulated?
Well, nothing in life is certain, which is why I’ve given you more than one option in this post!
However, mindfulness has been proven to help those with anxiety, depression, aggression and much more! By aiding these symptoms, mindfulness actually helps people become more emotionally regulated!
At first, this might be a bit challenging, especially if you have ADHD. Your mind naturally wanders off throughout the day, and therefore stopping yourself from doing that during a mindfulness session will be challenging.
Still, challenging does not mean impossible! Mindfulness is a skill, and like most skills you need to practise!
Related: 9 Astonishing Ways to Work Around ADHD Symptoms!
3. Try to Be More Aware of Your Emotions in Order to Practise Emotional Regulation
Emotional awareness involves recognizing and understanding your emotions, as well as the emotions of others.
People with ADHD often struggle with emotional awareness, which can lead to difficulties when learning how to regulate ones emotions.
To develop emotional awareness, you have to first identify what you are feeling in the moment. You have two options! You can either use a feelings chart (pictured on the left) to help you define those feelings and put a name to them!
Another option is to simply ask yourself a question. This could be something like ‘What am I feeling and where?‘. It’s especially good to identify where you are feeling something because we tend to store our emotions in our body! Being aware of bodily sensations as well as emotional ones can all lead to better emotional regulation skills!
Once you have identified your emotions, the next step is trying to understand what is causing them. Is it a situation, a person or a thought? Understanding the source of your emotions can help you regulate them more effectively!
4. Self Soothe
Self-soothing is a set of techniques and strategies that individuals can use to manage and regulate their emotions in difficult or stressful situations.
This can help reduce feelings of anxiety, stress and promote a sense of calm and relaxation.
Think about the things you like to do which gives you a feeling of comfort. This is exactly what you need to do in order to properly self soothe.
This could be anything from listening to music, watching your favourite show or taking a bath! You can also try to self soothe with activities that use your senses as our senses help us feel more grounded and connected to the present moment!
You can use these techniques whenever you feel overwhelmed or angry (or any emotion you are finding difficult to deal with).
A great idea would be to create a list of self soothing techniques and have it on hand whenever you need it.
5. Make Sure That You Take Care of Yourself Physically
Taking care of your physical self is just as important as your emotional self!
The truth is, our body is a big part of our livelyhood – and if we fail to take care of our body, we are also not helping our mental state!
In order to be able to practise the above techniques and regulate your emotions, you need to make sure you’re taking care of your body!
Things such as exercise, a proper nutritious diet and some self care routines could make a world of a difference to your mental health!
Try it out, you’d be surprised!
Conclusion
Regulating emotions with ADHD can be a challenging but achievable goal. It is important to remember that everyone’s journey is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another. It may take time and patience to find the strategies that work best for you! Be kind to yourself, seek support when needed, and keep moving forward towards a healthier and happier life.
